“Debu”!!!

“Debu!!! Stop running around with my hair band. Give it back to me or i’ll complain to my mother”. Jhumki would always yell at him, whenever Debu would pull the hairband from her hair and run on the streets waving it. The sound of his slippers echoing down the street, while Jhumki would stand in the middle of the road connecting her house with the rest of the colony, her hands trying to hold on to some of her hair in a bunch behind her head. She was never successful while doing it and most of the hair would rest on her cheeks. She would always be near tears… just like all little girls her age did. And when tears did start to brim her eyes and rain down on her cheeks, she would turn in the direction of her house and run inside.

For Debu, the fun stopped almost immediately when Jhumki would leave for her home. And then, would the coaxing and cajoling of Jhumki from Debu would start. Though the truth remained that for Debu, being away from Jhumki for even a single moment would be the saddest part of the day. It wasn’t that he was not aware of the scolding he would get from both his & Jhumki’s parent, but somehow getting a scolding while his eyes examined the fine grain of the floor and still be able to steal a glance at Jhumki, who would in turn look at him with a concerned look… was in most ways, all Debu ever wanted.

As a punishment, Debu and Jhumki would be separated from each other and would not be allowed to study or play together… but neither of them could bear a separation for more than few minutes and what would follow would be apologies from Debu & requests from Jhumki to be allowed to be together again… and who would not accept apologies and request made with innocent faces? And so the two of them would finish their lunch, do their homework and go to play. At times when it used to rain, the two would go to Debu’s house and play. Debu’s house was old and richly built as compared to Jhumki’s parent’s house and it comprised of an old attic. Children were not allowed to go in there as it was a big room, full of old trunks. It was used as a store room where Debu’s parents would put away clothes, furniture, Debu’s toys etc… which were not used any more. Moreover, it also had toys, clothes & books used by Debu’s father which were put in the attic by Debu’s grandparents when Debu’s father was a young boy.

But the main attraction of the attic, was a window through which, Jhumki could see the entrance of her house, as Jhumki’s & Debu’s house were directly opposite to each others. The window had a canopy too and birds like sparrows, parrots, pigeons would sit under it… taking shelter from the rain. Debu & Jhumki would watch the birds and try to speak in their voices. Debu would make voices of cat or dog and Jhumki would giggle seeing the birds getting nervous as though there was a real cat or dog nearby.

Even when they grew up, the attic was their favourite place. It would rain a lot in Shillong and it used to get cold. So they would sit in the attic by the window… watch the rain and the birds, do their studies and their gossip. A hot cup of chocolate milk, comfortable sofa seats, a heater and the wooden floor would set the mood for long hours of togetherness. Conversations would range from what they felt like doing, to movies or plays they were going to watch over the weekends or trips they could make over nearby places hitchhiking all the way. They would gossip about all the fun they could have and they used to have fun too.

Schools got over and colleges started. On recommendation of family members, Debu was to go to UK to study for his BBA and MBA, as was the tradition in his family. The course would take 4 years and Debu fighting tears had bid a tearful goodbye to Jhumki. The only promise they had kept was that they would stay in touch through letters.

4 years had passed, Debu had come back home. He had also got himself a job in a reputed bank in Calcutta. The entire day he had been meeting relatives who had come to congratulate him. He yearned to meet Jhumki but when he went to her place, he found a different scene. Jhumki’s family lived as tenants and had to move away when their house owner had decided to come back and sell the property. The property was now brought by a rich businessman who had been renovating the house according to modern needs.

<2 years ago>

Debu stood in front of the Attic window…

Sepian memories flooded before him, even as he looked around the Attic. It was a special place for them. It was filled with memories of Jhumki and Debu. Now even as he stood there, he was alone… and he missed Jhumki a lot. He had tried to find from his family about her whereabouts but they had no information. He began to feel tears brimming his eyes and he cried. He had cursed himself for leaving Jhumki when he should’ve stayed with her and helped her, but alas, this was something neither of them could have ever forseen.

<Now>

ABC Bank, Calcutta had struck a major deal with an international bank and this was being regarded as a landmark achievement by any bank in Indian history. More than any of this was the fact that, ABC Bank attributed this to their young visionary banker, Debjyot Chakraborty for this achievement. And he had been receiving interview requests from leading news channel reporters. However, there was one card which he kept in his wallet with a smile. It read Jhumki Baruah, Journalist, Calcutta Times.

har kisi ko thi jaldi, dhoond rahe the wo apna aashiyaan
mujhse bichhad rahe the wo, ujad raha tha gulistan,
waqt banaayega humein safal, chhod jaayenge kayee mukaam,
kal aur aayenge, lekin koi mita na paayega hamaare nishaan

kal honge hum kaamyaab, iska hai poora yakeen,
mehnat se seechenge apna sapna, asafalta ka dar nahi,
jinhe nahi hai hum par yakeen, unhe yakeen dila kar rahenge,
hum banenge wo chiraag, jo toofani baarish me bhi jagmagayenge

lekin dosti ke dhaage kamzor padh rahe hain,
jo apne the kal tak, wo aaj begaane ban gaye hain,
gubbaron ki tarah bachhon ke haath se chhoot to rahe hain,
lekin unmukt aasmaan me udne ke bajaaye band pinjare ki chidiya ban rahe hain

tod daalo ya mod daalo in pinjare ke bandhano ko
aur dosti me badhti dooriyon ko samet lo
aur kyunki hum jaise dost firse kahaan dhoondoge
isliye haath bada ke thaam lo hum doston ko

 - Devesh ‘The Devilpoet’ Joshi

nights have gone, giving way to days
but your memories, over me, still hold sway
hiding in the darkness, hiding from sun’s rays
are the answers, that’ll quench my thirst away

in lyftym’s forest, dwell both, the old and the young
here tears are cried & lullabies of joy sung
i watch from a distance, the flashback of our camaraderie
with a hope that tym doesn’t shake me & break away my reverie

Alas, truth is sour & lyf once broken doesn’t mend
& here i am, keeping my eyes closed & remembering the tym we spent
its not going to be easy to survive the emptiness & misery that now remains,
here’s wishing you peace, until we meet again, rest in peace dear friend

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This poem i dedicated in loving memory of Vikrant (MCA FORE, Batch of 2007) who left us all on 11/06/2010. RIP & keep rocking \m/ Amen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting for the moment to sieze her
she saw him through the windows
he had come to bid final farewell
he’d have to wait longer though

He stood where he always would
clutching the flowers, he stood there reminiscing
of the roses he would get for her
and now how he had settled on love lies bleeding

As she caressed each moment, knowing they were final
she fell back imagining the golden days that were now talk of old
her reverie was broken by the ring on her phone
he was calling her, it was playing their song
she reached for it and that’s when it siezed her

Suffocated and choking under her emotions
she realized the truth, he was leaving her, never to come back
tears welled, burning her eyes
she let it ring as she turned back to the window

As his wait grew old, a cloud of uncertainity passed over his mind
had she been more mature in leaving it all behind
& as the clock tower marked the passing of another hour with a chime
he realized, he had never thought, the last wait would take so much tym

She was preoccupied in her own battle of how to face him
he was waiting, she could imagine a similar pain too
she saw him, staying still hidden behind the tear curtain
she saw his growing desparation… and then she watched him leave

Emotions gave way to silent screams
what were enslaved in the mind, were now flowing freely on her cheeks
anxiety, desperation, love and other feelings broke her from her dreams
she knew she had to act fast, for isolation is a pain difficult to unweave

Hope was burning… the dying lights of an ember
both had faced sorrow, shared joy, and made promises which they did remember
she was running down the stairs, deciding not to leave things to happenstance
while he turned back, giving the lady he loved, another chance

As fate would have it, they met, though from across the street
and as there eyes met, their hearts did skip a beat
the feeling they had when they first met in their teen,
the same feeling was now rekindled in between

But as time and tides never wait for none,
They knew they had to, but, bid a farewell
They wanted to go against the heart’s cry
It was telling the truth, which they wanted to deny

No no no, was a continuous scream from the heart
You have no rights to do so, they yelled at HIM
the bleeding heart appeared before their eyes,
they knew what had come to an end as dreams took a sad demise

Although they were standing just few steps far
It was life’s toughest moment, to cross the path
Should we hold each other in our arms
or is there nothing left in our charms

She clutched her emotions tightly, and pretended to be bold.
Touched her heart firmly, and gave an acceptance nod.
Nothing I want more than a smile on your lips,
These were the only words uttering both beats

Not in each others arms though, they met at last
but as lovers whose friendship outlasts
sands of time and waves indeed do not wait for anyone
these two didn’t need it, they were already together, already as one.

- Devesh ‘The Devilpoet’ Joshi (Helped by Veenu Goel)

She stood there, safe in the shade
safe from the onslaught of acidic hate
plotting her moves as always in her twisted style
i knew she’d deny all accussation with than innocent yet sinister smile

I saw her smile as the acid burnt down the dove
& realized how gullible i had been to have called her my love
i wrongly thought, tears came out only to hide initial pain
when in reality, there’s more to misery than a heart can explain

More painful than acid were tears
bringing with them nightmares laced with wicked fears
without her, my world seemed to have burnt down
now i just hope tym reveals my chosen one & brings a smile to my frown

- Devesh ‘the devilpoet’ Joshi
- completed on 11th December 2011

I watched it as tears begand to burn my eyes
praying that it’d just go away
i hid deep withing myself
but it chased me everywhere
it finally caught up with me and
i watched it with fear, this tym in my eyes

It mocked at me while i stood there gasping for air
it reminded me, how painful it was to be a stranger again
it reminded me of the past and how it was so much like the present
of how dreams had been painted only to be washed away

How i had made promises to never let it happen again
and now, how i had painted a new one with too many colors
of a future that would never ever be on the cards
and of a dream that would turn into a nightmare snake
spitting its venom & reminders of failures on me

I tried to shake it off
and tried to avoid its hypnotic breath
i did not want to believe what it said
with the last strength in me i screamed at it
running away, i looked back at it & saw it waving back & wishing me luck… sarcastically

I came out in the open, here it was nowhere to be found
i saw sunshine, but i was still filled with doubts
i realized IT had gone after sowing it’s seeds in me
cos’ even in the bright sunshine, my mind is shadowed with clouds

Just a thought…
i am like a broken guitar
out of tune and strings, rusted or broken

- Devesh ‘the devilpoet’ Joshi

Na kavita hai, na gazal hai mere paas
lekin chahoon har dam, bas hum dono ka saath
mere sangh rehna, tu hai meri zindagi ki saans
na hona tu juda, bhula na paaunga tujhe mere yaar

Kaash jo kuch bhi hua wo na hua hota
kaash jo na keh paaya, wo waqt rehte keh diya hota
to shaayad ye gumnaami ke andhere na hote
aur hum ek din shaayad ek doosre ki baahon me hote

Ek pal ke liye bhool jaao jo kuch bhi hua
ye pal jo abhi hain yahaan, usko jee len zaraa
ye sach to hai ki na chahte hue bhi haath aayegi mere sirf maayusi
lekin isi bhulaawe me kam se kam ye andheri raat to kat jaayegi

Likhne waale ne bhi jaane kya soch kar likh diya ye sab mere naseeb me
agar milun usse kabhi, to poochhunga, kya yehi sab hai mere liye
kab tak zindagi k kashti is bhavsaagar ki lehron se joojhti rahegi
kya mere haq ki khushi ki ek roshni bhi nahi aayegi

Apni zindagi ke aakhri saans leti hui mombatti ki bhujti lau hoon mein
bas bhujhne ka intezaar hai, ise khushi samjhoon ya badnaseebi, ye nahi pata!

- Devesh ‘the devilpoet’ Joshi

They say if you love someone, let her fly… just let her go
if she comes, she’s yours, else… you’d know
i’ll wait for you, watching the waves as they kiss the shore
and i wouldn’t leave even when lyf turns dark to the core

You know the one thing which is hard for anyone to hold
its called a promise, just don’t forget yours and move on
cos’ i am here hoping you’d still return, as this lyf begins to turn cold
tremble with me till the last breath and then we’d be gone

Lyf’s HIS palace in whose eternal halls we enact our role
it’s good, it’s bad, it’s high & at tyms low
don’t be sad if you don’t hear the applaud roar
cos’ i’m sure in the end, they all would be cheering for an encore!

- Devesh ‘devilpoet’ Joshi
- 10th December 2011

Though the experiment was about something related to science, a little insight about it can be useful in every aspects of our lyfs. Schrodinger put a cat in a box and a posion vial in the same box. Now the poison vial would explode in some point of tym. And the only way to find whether the cat remained alive or not depended on opening the box and finding it out for yourself.

Similarly, critical decisions related to friendships, relationships, money matter, travel, career changes, clothing, hairstyles etc… need to be evaluated only by opening the box and finding if the cat is still alive or not and not by hypothecated guesses!

I think this might have been the reason behind the proverb, “to get the cat out of the bag”.

i’ve been thinking of all that happened and if any of that was necessary
have i gone too far on this one and will this ever mend with a simple apology
can this relationship still prevail after all that has happened
is something i wonder with hopes, now mostly abandoned

for the lyf of me, i want you back with your friendship, love and care
we have drifted so far that all these jewels i seek, do i even dare
and with what promises will i bind you this tym
would you still trust me, when what i’ve done is not less than crime

we should move on into friendship, while all we do is bridging gaps instead
this tapestry (of friendship) is torn, i have the needle, would you bring the thread
maybe i am not the type of person, in your lyf you’ll ever need
the kind of friendhip we have, makes me wonder, what kind of friend have i been

i know what i ask of you, is not easy for you to give
it is understanding i seek, give me a chance… a chance to make you believe
we both have our share of hurt & misunderstandings, separation from you feels like a curse
i used to believe tym would set things right, but it only made it worse

our relationship has been more of misunderstandings, slaps and tears
how about moving away from these into more of smiles n cheers
what we have had is a relationship of match and flint & hammer and nail
come and lets together add a candle to the flame & painting to the nail

Devesh ‘ the devilpoet ‘ Joshi
12th October 2011